Please wait while Tip #25 "Desert Survival" of the "Lazy Man's Guide to Good Livin'" downloads (Quicktime movie - 7.7 megs)...

Tip #25 is downloading. It's a pretty big file. It may take awhile. In the meantime, here's a Lazy Man Bonus Tipô. If you're like me, you always order food in a restaurant according to the color of the clothes you're wearing. This way, when you spill on yourself, no one can see the stain. Wearing red? Only order ketchup. White? Mayonaisse is "mayo-NICE." Brown? Beef jerky is your one true friend. Anyway... here's my tip: Whatever you do, don't wear stripes. They never line up right with your stains. EVER. The person who invented stripes obviously has no esophagus. Or mouth. Or chin. Or dripping face parts. They've NEVER spilled ANYTHING on themselves. They were fed intravenously from birth, as they wore their hideously-clean, striped pajamas... mocking me... mocking me... mocking me. I mean, who do they think they -- oh, crap. I just spilled soup on myself. Good thing I'm wearing my corn chowder-colored shirt. But what do I ever do with my underwear? Why don't I ever wear pants? Why? Why? Why? Okay. Here comes the movie. Or maybe you'll just have to read this whole thing again..

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